let go

I'm learning how to say NO. I'm learning how to stand up for what I believe in. I know what I believe in. I won't let people push me around. I will speak up for my beliefs. It feels good.

Also, I want to embrace high school. I hate always looking to the next big thing. Take it a day at a time.



LOVE and PEACEEEE sucka free sundaeeeee

Thinking about high school and how I'm still suck in that world makes me sick. I just want to cry. High school is not where I want to be. I want to be out in the world. I hate being surrounded by bad feelings and bad people. I hate being forced to be around my past self all the time and remember memories that I just want to forget. I hate how we're not friends anymore. Seeing people I used to be so close with makes me just want to scream!!! I don't know what made us fall apart from each other, maybe we're just different. We want different things, we have different goals. But we had so much fun and I still have so much love for you. I'm stuck in the past. I need to let myself move on. I want to graduate. Last year was so much better.





AnyyyyWAYYYYSSSSS I'm 18. Last night was fun. I love Jen. We watched a movie called Speak. It's amazing.
I'm about to go to Lutheran High's thrift store for their $5 bag sale.... that's what i've been looking forward to for SOOO lONGGGGG. hahah I love new, old clothes



PEAceee sucka freeeee 18-year-old sundaeeeee

So

This is it. 3 more days and I will no longer be considered a child. 17 is such an awesome age. I loved being 17. I love being young. I'm so lucky to understand that I should embrace every stage of life I am in at every moment. I used to say I don't want to turn 18, and a part of me is still scared and wants to be a kid. I knew that when the day came, though, that I would be ready. I am ready. This is an age and a stage of my life that I feel ready to jump into full-force.

18-year-old plans:
vote
road trip over spring break with Jen to norcal
nose pierced? maybe not
clubs with Jen, and Ruben (hahaha!)
build a bike?
college
new job
"roam if you want to, roam around the world"



Hoookayyyyy PEACE sucka freee sundaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ayeeeee

Honestly, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to be anything when I grow up, I don't want to grow up, I don't want to work. I am so uninspired to try and climb the ladder of success on this earth because IT DOESN'T MATTER. Nothing matters except for Jesus. He wants me to do well and to live for him. I want to do what he wants me to do, but while I'm trying to figure out what that is, I am completely uninspired to do anything. I lost one of my college applications in my house somewhere and that is throwing me off my rocker. I don't want to do anything. I just want to sit here and listen to music forever and get lost in my brain.


I want to do dts, I don't want to go to college yet.

la la la la la love

I'm having a lame weekend. MANY great things happened, such as 2 extra days off, my wyld life talk went well on thursday, a wonderful show on friday, and Homecoming was fabulous!!!!
Everything on the outside was amazing, but my insides are hating life. My heart isn't happy and my head is stressing on trying to figure out why it's not happy like it always is. I have a head ache. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I haven't done any homework. I just want to be in heaven.


Being stressed over earthly things is soooo laameeeeeeeeeeeee! It doesn't even matter but everyone thinks it matters so that makes me think it matters too. I wish my parents weren't so concerned about the world. They stress me out the most. Life is not about how many A's I can get my teachers to bubble in on my report card. I wish they saw that.


I miss work crew. I miss woodleaf. I miss the perfection of being in that place. I miss my Bano Babes and our wonderful work crew boss. THe laundry ladies and Heather. Sean's and Charles' faces. I miss summer stafffffff and assignment team. I miss the blob. I miss Bill and all the "Hey Neighbor"s. I miss seeing kids change right before our eyes. I miss singing to them after the 15 minutes. I miss helping the dining hall. I miss our best days and I even miss our worst day ever. I miss when our biggest worry was Emily telling us to get into bed. I miss the bonds we all made and all the prayers we said together. I miss running around in Mar Mar's leotard and trying to do cartwheels all the time. I miss Tableau night. I miss my woodleaf family. I love you alllllllllllllllll and I'm always praying for all of you.

"You're destroying my self confidence"

That's a line in Flowers for Algernon. We're doing that play in ATA this semester.


That line's been stuck in my head all night. Sometimes my mom destroys my self confidence. I don't like the way she shuts down every idea I have. I feel like she's so consumed with "the way of the world" and can't accept anything that goes against that. I'm trying to concentrate on what God wants for me but it's so hard when my mom is telling me to do other things. God is calling me to be bold and take risks and my mom wants me to take the safe route. I don't know how to do anything, I just know to pray.
Tonight my mom started picking me apart. She loves me, but she lets the world get the best of her sometimes. I just pray I can show her the most complete love possible.



I'm emotionally drained. I'm stressed. I need a 4 day weekend. I need my cousins and my aunt. I love you guys.





peace sucka freeeeee sundae

Crazy on the Outside, Confident on the Inside

My little sister wrote a short essay about me. I love her. I love her writing. Here it is !

"Her bright vivid clothing is what first draws your attention. Kelsey Waldron, my older sister, is a sight to see. But she’s more than wild clothing and funny hair. Once you get to know her you see amazing qualities and understand how she can be so flamboyant in her outward style. Her hair is cut short, like a boy, usually gelled into some odd position. If you get close enough you can see a golden band of color across the middle of her brown hair. Her glasses are odd, but seem normal when compared to the rest of her. Her clothes are beyond description, because every outfit has a different look. Yet, mysteriously, it’s always a unique “Kelsey look”. She has scarves of every color and texture, her shoes are every shade of the rainbow and every pattern that has been drawn. Kelsey’s closet could be confused with a thrift store or a designer gallery. If you judged this book by the cover, you might get the wrong impression.
On the inside, Kelsey loves life and God. She’s so pre-occupied with serving others she barely has time to sleep. She doesn’t just attend church; she’s part of the leadership for the junior high group. Between activities, you will find her planning upcoming events, even planning talks on how God can touch their lives.

Kelsey gets her confidence from God. Each morning she stares into her mirror that has this message written in old pink lipstick across the top, “The King is enthralled by your beauty”. It’s not that she’s vain; she just likes to be reminded that she’s perfect in God’s eyes. Her confidence grows by sharing this with other people.
This crazy girl, with the looks of a gypsy, I am proud to say is my sister, role-model and friend."




I'm unbelievably happy I've made my family more of a priority than I've made it in the past. Of all the people I should be showing Christ, they should be number one.

I love this song:

Heal my heart and make it free

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

bahhhh

I'm dreading turning 18. It will be fun, and I know it's just a number, but it symbolizes me growing up.




"Youth is wasted on the young"




Let's not waste this!

Over it

I'm over trying to impress everyone. It's hard to find that balance between loving everyone and "impressing" them. I hate being fake, it makes me sick. I concentrate on others so much that I lose sight of God sometimes. I think God wants me to take some time for myself every once in a while and definitely more time for him.