Being in Wisconsin has been so nice. I love being here. Sipping my mint tea and watching the snow fall as the sun goes down is calming.
http://www.myspace.com/januandthewhalesharks are calming also.
I'm so glad to be out of Orange County. It's so easy to get caught up in everything and not even notice. Small towns make it easy to take a step out of line to look at your life. My friends in Wisconsin are some of the greatest people I've ever known. I'm so lucky to be here with them right now.
Hahaha Delaney and Megan just ran from the sauna, through the house and into the snow in their bikinis. Wisconsin fun at its finest, everyone. I might join them before our Monopoly Madness night begins.
Last night we watched Shawshank Redemption. Every time I see that movie I find something even more amazing about it.
"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice, but still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."
For some reason that was what stuck out to me last night.
I'm not sure how excited I am to go home yet, but I am excited for 2009. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, but set our sights higher than ever. This is the prime of our lives. Let's get even more than we're supposed to out of it.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
dreams
I always have these dreams. Every night I remember them, but they don't feel like dreams in my memory. These dreams are so realistic it's difficult and sometimes impossible to decipher between dream and reality. Whether it was a dream or it was real, it's now just a memory soon to be forgotten. Memories are a funny thing. Some people will never forget certain things and certain interactions while another person has never thought about those moments twice.
It's raining in Illinois. It's a nice 60 degrees.
It's raining in Illinois. It's a nice 60 degrees.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Chi-town
Sitting here on my cousin's bed looking out her window into a snow-covered world listening to the song on Jen's profile with my brother's noise cancelling headphones is one of the coolest things I've done in 2008. I think it's because I never see this much, but snow is so awesome! A few feet of snow would do everyone some good.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas yesterday. It didn't really feel like Christmas to me because I spent most of the day in airports and in the sky. It was a nice Christmas though. Now that I'm growing up I have learned to appreciate my family so much. I'm happy that we're so close no matter how many miles are between us.
2009 is going to be a pivotal year in my life. I feel called to explore and decipher what my strengths are and to work on my weaknesses. I'm really excited to see where God takes me and to see what opportunities I can grab hold of this next year. I don't know if I have any resolutions for 2009, but I definitely have expectations for myself and my life that I will live up to. Actually, I guess these are my resolutions:
- get a better job
- save save save
- say no when I need to, when I want to, and when I should
- not get caught up in worldly things like it is so easy to do
- continue to love
That's all I have for now.
Progress. Let's make some.
Peace Sucka Freeee Sundae
I hope everyone had a great Christmas yesterday. It didn't really feel like Christmas to me because I spent most of the day in airports and in the sky. It was a nice Christmas though. Now that I'm growing up I have learned to appreciate my family so much. I'm happy that we're so close no matter how many miles are between us.
2009 is going to be a pivotal year in my life. I feel called to explore and decipher what my strengths are and to work on my weaknesses. I'm really excited to see where God takes me and to see what opportunities I can grab hold of this next year. I don't know if I have any resolutions for 2009, but I definitely have expectations for myself and my life that I will live up to. Actually, I guess these are my resolutions:
- get a better job
- save save save
- say no when I need to, when I want to, and when I should
- not get caught up in worldly things like it is so easy to do
- continue to love
That's all I have for now.
Progress. Let's make some.
Peace Sucka Freeee Sundae
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
In the moment
Every moment seems so important to us when it is happening. Emotions cause action, and action is powered by the build up of past moments and the things happening at that moment in time. Sometimes I wish I could concentrate on not only the moment I am facing now, but every moment that has been and is to be. Moments are so small, so meaningless. Why, at every moment, do we feel that this moment is the most important moment in the world?
"The years have been short but the days were long"
That's a lyric from a shins song I've heard so many times. For some reason, the hundredth time I heard it, I didn't just hear it; I listened, I understood. When you think about this past year, how fast does it seem to have flown by? For me, ridiculously fast. When I think back on the memories I have made and the things I have done, I really remember that the moments I had spent doing things had seemed so long while they were happening. Every day cleaning cabins at Woodleaf the days seemed to have more than 24 hours in them. But then, at the end of the month when we were all crying our goodbyes, we were all stuck wondering where time had gone. It did not feel like we had been there for a month. When I came back home from Woodleaf and stepped into my room, it felt like I had only been gone for a few hours. This feeling made me cry so hard that night because I had so many memories and I had changed so much in that month, but everything at home was exactly the same. I knew that no one here would be able to understand those feelings I was having. I had just experienced the most amazing transformation of my heart and mind, and it seemed like it was all for nothing the second I stepped back into my old life. Every day, a little part of me wishes I was back at Woodleaf.
Time is something I don't care very much about. I'm always late, and I absolutely do not care. I guess that's bad of me to say but let's just be honest here. Time is so worldly and I don't concentrate on things of this world. They don't make me happy.
WELP, see you later. I'm flying to Chicago on Christmas day and I'll be home on January 4th. Everyone be safe and have a great new years eve and day(: Remember why we celebrate Christmas.
PEace Sucka freeee sundae
"The years have been short but the days were long"
That's a lyric from a shins song I've heard so many times. For some reason, the hundredth time I heard it, I didn't just hear it; I listened, I understood. When you think about this past year, how fast does it seem to have flown by? For me, ridiculously fast. When I think back on the memories I have made and the things I have done, I really remember that the moments I had spent doing things had seemed so long while they were happening. Every day cleaning cabins at Woodleaf the days seemed to have more than 24 hours in them. But then, at the end of the month when we were all crying our goodbyes, we were all stuck wondering where time had gone. It did not feel like we had been there for a month. When I came back home from Woodleaf and stepped into my room, it felt like I had only been gone for a few hours. This feeling made me cry so hard that night because I had so many memories and I had changed so much in that month, but everything at home was exactly the same. I knew that no one here would be able to understand those feelings I was having. I had just experienced the most amazing transformation of my heart and mind, and it seemed like it was all for nothing the second I stepped back into my old life. Every day, a little part of me wishes I was back at Woodleaf.
Time is something I don't care very much about. I'm always late, and I absolutely do not care. I guess that's bad of me to say but let's just be honest here. Time is so worldly and I don't concentrate on things of this world. They don't make me happy.
WELP, see you later. I'm flying to Chicago on Christmas day and I'll be home on January 4th. Everyone be safe and have a great new years eve and day(: Remember why we celebrate Christmas.
PEace Sucka freeee sundae
Monday, December 15, 2008
Everyone has things that they struggle with. Sometimes it's just easier to concentrate on the good in yourself and ignore the bad, while focusing on all the bad in other people. Just because you're better than someone in one aspect doesn't mean you're better than them in other ways. It's easier to point out bad things in other people than it is to point them out in yourself.
I'm working on living a more simple life and spending less money on things that I don't need or have another way of getting. For example, I don't need to go out to eat as often as I do. I don't need a new shirt every few weeks, or at all. Some people live with one outfit for years. Am I so self-conscious that I won't let myself wear the same thing more than once? omg, outfit repeater!
Some of these things I would have never thought about if they weren't brought to my attention. Having a car places my family in the top 5% wealthiest in the world. You probably aren't that far off if you're reading this in the comfort of your own home with your computer with internet access. We take all of this for granted and that sucks. All we want is more and more; The greed never ends. You've probably heard all this before. Nothing I'm saying is new to you. How come I've said these things a million times before and I've heard them said to me a million more, but I still continue to be the selfish person that I have always been. Maybe habit. Maybe it's just easier to follow the crowd. The real crowd, though, isn't as blessed as I am. Top 5% remember? I want to live like that. I don't need all these things. My Christmas list was getting way out of hand. Want to get me a present? The most memorable gift I have ever been given was by my amazing friend Tommy. He sponsored a girl in my name through world vision. That was the best gift ever and I will never forget it.
I'm working on living a more simple life and spending less money on things that I don't need or have another way of getting. For example, I don't need to go out to eat as often as I do. I don't need a new shirt every few weeks, or at all. Some people live with one outfit for years. Am I so self-conscious that I won't let myself wear the same thing more than once? omg, outfit repeater!
Some of these things I would have never thought about if they weren't brought to my attention. Having a car places my family in the top 5% wealthiest in the world. You probably aren't that far off if you're reading this in the comfort of your own home with your computer with internet access. We take all of this for granted and that sucks. All we want is more and more; The greed never ends. You've probably heard all this before. Nothing I'm saying is new to you. How come I've said these things a million times before and I've heard them said to me a million more, but I still continue to be the selfish person that I have always been. Maybe habit. Maybe it's just easier to follow the crowd. The real crowd, though, isn't as blessed as I am. Top 5% remember? I want to live like that. I don't need all these things. My Christmas list was getting way out of hand. Want to get me a present? The most memorable gift I have ever been given was by my amazing friend Tommy. He sponsored a girl in my name through world vision. That was the best gift ever and I will never forget it.
disappear
I remembered my dreams right when I woke up, but then I got distracted and forgot them. Story of my life, dawg!
Foals are my new obsession. I love this song.
"Suns up we wait
all day
Suns up we wait
all day all day
the hell outsides kept away
if only we could move away
from here
This is how
we build a place
an aviary for today
an aviary for today
let's disappear till tomorrow
let's disappear till tomorrow
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar ar ar ar
blow up these play parades
let's go
to an aviary far from home
to an aviary far from home
a one hand clap is me and you
and you and you and you
while the hell outsides kept away
if only we moved away
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar ar ar ar
last vacation was the same
we got moved away
last vacation was the same
we got moved away
last vacation was the same
we got moved away
sun down now we have built
our place
an aviary forever
an aviary forever
forever forever
re-a-ppe-ar
re-a-ppe-ar
re-a-ppe-ar
re-a-ppe-ar"
Yeah it's pretty good.
Yesterday I really found a lot of motivation and inspiration that I knew was coming my way. I liked it. Why is life so complicated? Why do I have to own so many things? Or spend so much money? The simple life is where it's at. Who wants to buy my clothes??! All of them!
Kidding. Peace Sucka freeeeeeee moNdAeeeeeee!
Foals are my new obsession. I love this song.
"Suns up we wait
all day
Suns up we wait
all day all day
the hell outsides kept away
if only we could move away
from here
This is how
we build a place
an aviary for today
an aviary for today
let's disappear till tomorrow
let's disappear till tomorrow
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar ar ar ar
blow up these play parades
let's go
to an aviary far from home
to an aviary far from home
a one hand clap is me and you
and you and you and you
while the hell outsides kept away
if only we moved away
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar
dis-a-ppe-ar ar ar ar
last vacation was the same
we got moved away
last vacation was the same
we got moved away
last vacation was the same
we got moved away
sun down now we have built
our place
an aviary forever
an aviary forever
forever forever
re-a-ppe-ar
re-a-ppe-ar
re-a-ppe-ar
re-a-ppe-ar"
Yeah it's pretty good.
Yesterday I really found a lot of motivation and inspiration that I knew was coming my way. I liked it. Why is life so complicated? Why do I have to own so many things? Or spend so much money? The simple life is where it's at. Who wants to buy my clothes??! All of them!
Kidding. Peace Sucka freeeeeeee moNdAeeeeeee!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Dreams I had last night:
I had a dream I was raped and got pregnant but I decided to keep the baby. I became a world speaker on love and how this world is meaningless and we should all just love each other. Does it take rape to talk to people about that? I feel like sometimes it takes something so out of place in our daily lives to speak about anything out of the ordinary. Anyways, that was one dream.
I had another dream that I was a skid champion. I've been having bike dreams consecutively for many nights. I'm pretty sure I keep having skid dreams because I'm annoyed that I'm too chicken to skid. I won a new bike frame in this dream too. No more centurion conversion! Haha, but I love my bike. I don't need anything fancy and I'm not going to pretend I can afford anything fancy either.
The past two weeks have been really weird for me. I'm in a transition phase in my life and I don't know what I'm transitioning into. I feel God leading me somewhere and it's really hard sometimes to just follow him with no idea where I'm going. It's exciting though!
I have been really antisocial and I'm really sorry about that. I'm getting really down about everything but I know that I'm going to be getting over this hump in my life soon. After graduation I see everything falling into place for me. Right now I'm stuck doing things I'm not passionate about but I'm determined to find inspiration. Maybe I won't though. I need to pray, I need to be in God's word. This is going to be a tough transition for me but I hope you, my friends, can stick by me. I feel this transition starting to tear me apart already, but God is my strength. With Him I can get through anything. He has placed all of you reading this in my life for a reason and I'm so thankful every one of you. Thank you for being a part of my life, big or small.
Peace sucka free sundae!
I had another dream that I was a skid champion. I've been having bike dreams consecutively for many nights. I'm pretty sure I keep having skid dreams because I'm annoyed that I'm too chicken to skid. I won a new bike frame in this dream too. No more centurion conversion! Haha, but I love my bike. I don't need anything fancy and I'm not going to pretend I can afford anything fancy either.
The past two weeks have been really weird for me. I'm in a transition phase in my life and I don't know what I'm transitioning into. I feel God leading me somewhere and it's really hard sometimes to just follow him with no idea where I'm going. It's exciting though!
I have been really antisocial and I'm really sorry about that. I'm getting really down about everything but I know that I'm going to be getting over this hump in my life soon. After graduation I see everything falling into place for me. Right now I'm stuck doing things I'm not passionate about but I'm determined to find inspiration. Maybe I won't though. I need to pray, I need to be in God's word. This is going to be a tough transition for me but I hope you, my friends, can stick by me. I feel this transition starting to tear me apart already, but God is my strength. With Him I can get through anything. He has placed all of you reading this in my life for a reason and I'm so thankful every one of you. Thank you for being a part of my life, big or small.
Peace sucka free sundae!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
You'd break your neck to keep your chin up
That's a lyric from Chin Up by Copeland on their most recent album. I am in love with the progression they are making as a band.
I'm excited for life right now. Everything is moving pretty quickly and I like that. The only thing I feel is holding me back is high school. I'm trying to embrace my last few months but honestly I just don't want to be there. I don't care anymore. I'm over being social with the people at my school. I just sit in the drama room all day and sleep haha.
I like and dislike growing up all at the same time. Wondering where I will end up in a few years makes me crazy sometimes. I always just tell myself not to think about it; That's my plan for everything stressful. Don't think about it, don't worry about it, everything will be good. Maybe that's why I was voted most optimistic ha. I don't think about the bad and only speak of the good.
"I've got my life in a suitcase,
I'm ready to run, run, run away..
I've got no time, 'cause I'm always trying to run, run, run away
'Cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase.."
I have these dreams, good ones, every night. I always wake up wishing they were real.
Today I realized once again how much better my life is with Jesus in it. I haven't been reading my bible and I know that's been throwing me off. I don't know what to focus on and I know it's because I haven't been talking with God enough. We have so little to offer him in return for what He's given us, at least we could give Him some time. This life is meaningless anyways. Nothing here matters. I need to constantlly remind myself of that fact. I lose sight of meaningful things all the time. Love matters. Eternity matters. When everyone around you is so focused on the meaningless things of this life it's easy to lose sight of what matters. I don't want to lose my sight. I can see God so clearly as I write these words. Heaven is my home, it's where we're meant to be. God wants us there with Him, rejoicing with Him!
Let's be happy and do good while we live. Do what you love. Be joyful in everything. Be thankful for every breath.
Peace sucka freee sundae<3
I'm excited for life right now. Everything is moving pretty quickly and I like that. The only thing I feel is holding me back is high school. I'm trying to embrace my last few months but honestly I just don't want to be there. I don't care anymore. I'm over being social with the people at my school. I just sit in the drama room all day and sleep haha.
I like and dislike growing up all at the same time. Wondering where I will end up in a few years makes me crazy sometimes. I always just tell myself not to think about it; That's my plan for everything stressful. Don't think about it, don't worry about it, everything will be good. Maybe that's why I was voted most optimistic ha. I don't think about the bad and only speak of the good.
"I've got my life in a suitcase,
I'm ready to run, run, run away..
I've got no time, 'cause I'm always trying to run, run, run away
'Cause everyday in here feels like it's only a game.
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase.."
I have these dreams, good ones, every night. I always wake up wishing they were real.
Today I realized once again how much better my life is with Jesus in it. I haven't been reading my bible and I know that's been throwing me off. I don't know what to focus on and I know it's because I haven't been talking with God enough. We have so little to offer him in return for what He's given us, at least we could give Him some time. This life is meaningless anyways. Nothing here matters. I need to constantlly remind myself of that fact. I lose sight of meaningful things all the time. Love matters. Eternity matters. When everyone around you is so focused on the meaningless things of this life it's easy to lose sight of what matters. I don't want to lose my sight. I can see God so clearly as I write these words. Heaven is my home, it's where we're meant to be. God wants us there with Him, rejoicing with Him!
Let's be happy and do good while we live. Do what you love. Be joyful in everything. Be thankful for every breath.
Peace sucka freee sundae<3
Friday, December 5, 2008
Big Bear
I'm going to Big Bear Lake this weekend with my lafixed friends<3
Today at work I just wanted to get out of there. It was so slow and I wanted to be hanging out with my best friend! I picked up our paychecks though, which was a plus. Another plus was these three kids who came in with their mom. They were talking with me and telling me stories about their day; I loved it. Those kids made me so happy. Seeing how innocent and unbelievably joyful they were in everything and each other made me happy. I wish I could be at that stage in life again sometimes. They told me the best stories. Their mom was the nicest lady, too. I pray that kids like that don't grow up too fast. I grew up too fast. I don't know how, but I want my kids to learn to embrace their childhood. I guess growing up too fast is a part of growing up.... I don't know ha. Sometimes I wish I would have known things while I was younger that I know now,,, but then I wouldn't have ended up where I am now. I make so many mistakes as I grow each day and it's really lame in the moment a mistake happens. After, though, it's not such a big deal. I've learned to accept that I am flawed. Learning new things and letting my brain think forever are my favorite activities these days. I'm so blessed to have been given a mind with the all thoughts and ideas I have. I can't wait to see how God uses me and my brain to expand his kingdom on this earth. This earth is so meaningless, but the people on it are not. I don't know where God will take me; All I can do now is grow.
Today at work I just wanted to get out of there. It was so slow and I wanted to be hanging out with my best friend! I picked up our paychecks though, which was a plus. Another plus was these three kids who came in with their mom. They were talking with me and telling me stories about their day; I loved it. Those kids made me so happy. Seeing how innocent and unbelievably joyful they were in everything and each other made me happy. I wish I could be at that stage in life again sometimes. They told me the best stories. Their mom was the nicest lady, too. I pray that kids like that don't grow up too fast. I grew up too fast. I don't know how, but I want my kids to learn to embrace their childhood. I guess growing up too fast is a part of growing up.... I don't know ha. Sometimes I wish I would have known things while I was younger that I know now,,, but then I wouldn't have ended up where I am now. I make so many mistakes as I grow each day and it's really lame in the moment a mistake happens. After, though, it's not such a big deal. I've learned to accept that I am flawed. Learning new things and letting my brain think forever are my favorite activities these days. I'm so blessed to have been given a mind with the all thoughts and ideas I have. I can't wait to see how God uses me and my brain to expand his kingdom on this earth. This earth is so meaningless, but the people on it are not. I don't know where God will take me; All I can do now is grow.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
it's late
It doesn't feel as late as it is.
I am so content with where I am. I love that feeling. When I realize that I'm exactly where God wants me to be and that he's using me no matter where I am or who I'm with, I'm so content.
I have been doing what I love all weekend. I've been hanging out with people I love and riding bikes and dancing. This has been such a good weekend. Friday was the release date of all the stress my family has been building up and it feels sooo good to be over with.
I'm happy I'm back into blogging. It feels good to write to everyone who wants to read this.
I wish I didn't think about him all the time. I have been so happy with just loving Jesus and now I'm thinking about a boy and I'm kind of bummed! Maybe God wants me to be thinking about him, who knows.
I am still in need of a planner. I can't wait to get my hands on one. I'm excited to keep my life more in order.
Tomorrow night I'm going to Lauren Johnson's show! She is an amazing young woman with pure talent. You miiiight want to think about going to her shows while they're only $10. I know they won't be forever.
My family has been obsessed with the show Weeds lately. They all sit in front of the tv and watch their season # whatever on dvd. I sit in the other room and all I hear is cursing and crap. I don't like how all that junk has become normal in our culture. I don't like it. Family bonding over that? have fun with that one, fam.
Want to be AWESOME??!?! burn me a cd! I'm in such a music rut right now. I want to get out of it.
I love you all. I really have so much love for you. Ecclesiastes 3:12 "I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and do good while they live." I really believe in that. Let's be happy !!!!!!!!!!!!
<333333 Peace sucka freeeeeeeeeeeeEEeeeeee sundae
I am so content with where I am. I love that feeling. When I realize that I'm exactly where God wants me to be and that he's using me no matter where I am or who I'm with, I'm so content.
I have been doing what I love all weekend. I've been hanging out with people I love and riding bikes and dancing. This has been such a good weekend. Friday was the release date of all the stress my family has been building up and it feels sooo good to be over with.
I'm happy I'm back into blogging. It feels good to write to everyone who wants to read this.
I wish I didn't think about him all the time. I have been so happy with just loving Jesus and now I'm thinking about a boy and I'm kind of bummed! Maybe God wants me to be thinking about him, who knows.
I am still in need of a planner. I can't wait to get my hands on one. I'm excited to keep my life more in order.
Tomorrow night I'm going to Lauren Johnson's show! She is an amazing young woman with pure talent. You miiiight want to think about going to her shows while they're only $10. I know they won't be forever.
My family has been obsessed with the show Weeds lately. They all sit in front of the tv and watch their season # whatever on dvd. I sit in the other room and all I hear is cursing and crap. I don't like how all that junk has become normal in our culture. I don't like it. Family bonding over that? have fun with that one, fam.
Want to be AWESOME??!?! burn me a cd! I'm in such a music rut right now. I want to get out of it.
I love you all. I really have so much love for you. Ecclesiastes 3:12 "I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and do good while they live." I really believe in that. Let's be happy !!!!!!!!!!!!
<333333 Peace sucka freeeeeeeeeeeeEEeeeeee sundae
Saturday, November 29, 2008
meh
One of my great friends told me the other day that she always reads my blogs and is sad I haven't updated in a while. I'm sad too. I have lots of things to say, but few words to say it in and little time to type it. I think I will form a list. So, here it goes!
1. I got my bike! I love it. Critical mass last night was really fun and I'm excited to get in shaaape and ride everywhere.
2. God's timing and my timing are two things that I hope to one day get in sync. Sometimes I feel super-connected with people when I first meet them. To me that is one of the most amazing feelings I have ever felt. I love meeting someone and knowing you're on the same page about so many things without having to say anything. I feel like that about almost everyone who volunteers for Young Life, and this amazing guy I met last month. I met him one day and the next day he moved away. Timing is a funny thing, but I know God's not done revealing Himself to me and showing me why he lets certain people into my life.
3. Jen and I are trying to find a modeling agency.
4. I feel like I'm making no progress. This world is so meaningless. In the end, I hope my parents are happy with me. For now they're disappointed with what I want to do.
5. Tattoo: on my side. a verse forming an ichthus, but I don't know what verse yet. Still contemplating.
6. I want a speaker backpack! :::: I just stopped this to check out ebay for a speaker backpack... and I just bought one hahahaha. SOoo next time you see me riding I'll be wearing a green frog backpack with headphones on it.. but the headphones are really speakers! Haha! Best $0.01 I ever spent!
7. I'm going out to buy a planner right now so I can plan my life. Hookayyyy!!!!!!
8. I'm excited to go to San Fransisco in the spring and Chicago in the winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you all! Peace sucka freee sundaeee!
1. I got my bike! I love it. Critical mass last night was really fun and I'm excited to get in shaaape and ride everywhere.
2. God's timing and my timing are two things that I hope to one day get in sync. Sometimes I feel super-connected with people when I first meet them. To me that is one of the most amazing feelings I have ever felt. I love meeting someone and knowing you're on the same page about so many things without having to say anything. I feel like that about almost everyone who volunteers for Young Life, and this amazing guy I met last month. I met him one day and the next day he moved away. Timing is a funny thing, but I know God's not done revealing Himself to me and showing me why he lets certain people into my life.
3. Jen and I are trying to find a modeling agency.
4. I feel like I'm making no progress. This world is so meaningless. In the end, I hope my parents are happy with me. For now they're disappointed with what I want to do.
5. Tattoo: on my side. a verse forming an ichthus, but I don't know what verse yet. Still contemplating.
6. I want a speaker backpack! :::: I just stopped this to check out ebay for a speaker backpack... and I just bought one hahahaha. SOoo next time you see me riding I'll be wearing a green frog backpack with headphones on it.. but the headphones are really speakers! Haha! Best $0.01 I ever spent!
7. I'm going out to buy a planner right now so I can plan my life. Hookayyyy!!!!!!
8. I'm excited to go to San Fransisco in the spring and Chicago in the winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you all! Peace sucka freee sundaeee!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
It feels like forever
Hello blog world. It's been over a week now but I am happy to once again be sharing my thoughts to whoever wants to read them.
Recently I have been thinking about age and maturity. They somewhat go hand-in-hand, but there are many cases where the maturity that stereotypically coincides with one's age does not accurately represent their actual level of maturity. The person's maturity could often be higher than the stereotypical level. It could also, even more often, be less. I believe I am of average maturity in many areas of my life, less-than-average in other areas, and higher than in a few others.
I was about to list examples, but I don't want to anymore. My mind was just thinking about the question What or who defines normal? Where do these stereotypes come from? Why are so many people afraid to think a different thought or to step outside their comfort zone? I know I'm scared. I try to challenge myself every day, and I fail every day. I try to let my mind be as free and creative as it can possibly be. With every day I let my mind expand into foreign lands, the more possibilities I can see forming right before my eyes. These changes in the way I think and the way I live are exciting! My wish for you, whoever is reading this, is that you would know how powerful your mind is. Don't limit yourself and don't let other people tell you what to think or how to be. You need to know that you are in control of the way you act and the way you think. Just because the popular perception of beauty isn't you (it isn't me either... it's no one really. It's completely fake.) BUt, just because the PopulaR and "accepted" view of beauty isn't you or me doesn't mean you should be hating on your body or the way you were made!! Think of how freakin boring life would be if we were all perfect!! THAT is the beauty I see in life! Imperfections and 'blemishes' are what I thrive for! I want people to know that they are exactly how they are made to be. God wouldn't change a hair on your head or one thing about you! The imperfection that the world sees in you is the perfection God sees in you! Embrace it!!! If you're tall, flaunt it! If you're short, heck yeah you are!
I really believe in that. Let your mind wander around that for a little bit.
ALso, This world doesn't even matter. ahhahaha I think about that all the time. I don't mean we should all just give up on living because it doesn't matter... that's not what I mean. Some people are meant to be the way our world is, the way america is. I just have a hard time believing that we're ALL meant to be that way. SOoo much pressure is put on high school students to have the "Perfect American Lifestyle". Graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, use it in a career ... somehow, and raise your kids to do the same. WHY IS THAT NORMAL!>!??!?! It kills me!!!
Hahah thank you if you read this. I love you. And I still love you if you didn't!
Peaceee sucka freeee Sunday night(:
Recently I have been thinking about age and maturity. They somewhat go hand-in-hand, but there are many cases where the maturity that stereotypically coincides with one's age does not accurately represent their actual level of maturity. The person's maturity could often be higher than the stereotypical level. It could also, even more often, be less. I believe I am of average maturity in many areas of my life, less-than-average in other areas, and higher than in a few others.
I was about to list examples, but I don't want to anymore. My mind was just thinking about the question What or who defines normal? Where do these stereotypes come from? Why are so many people afraid to think a different thought or to step outside their comfort zone? I know I'm scared. I try to challenge myself every day, and I fail every day. I try to let my mind be as free and creative as it can possibly be. With every day I let my mind expand into foreign lands, the more possibilities I can see forming right before my eyes. These changes in the way I think and the way I live are exciting! My wish for you, whoever is reading this, is that you would know how powerful your mind is. Don't limit yourself and don't let other people tell you what to think or how to be. You need to know that you are in control of the way you act and the way you think. Just because the popular perception of beauty isn't you (it isn't me either... it's no one really. It's completely fake.) BUt, just because the PopulaR and "accepted" view of beauty isn't you or me doesn't mean you should be hating on your body or the way you were made!! Think of how freakin boring life would be if we were all perfect!! THAT is the beauty I see in life! Imperfections and 'blemishes' are what I thrive for! I want people to know that they are exactly how they are made to be. God wouldn't change a hair on your head or one thing about you! The imperfection that the world sees in you is the perfection God sees in you! Embrace it!!! If you're tall, flaunt it! If you're short, heck yeah you are!
I really believe in that. Let your mind wander around that for a little bit.
ALso, This world doesn't even matter. ahhahaha I think about that all the time. I don't mean we should all just give up on living because it doesn't matter... that's not what I mean. Some people are meant to be the way our world is, the way america is. I just have a hard time believing that we're ALL meant to be that way. SOoo much pressure is put on high school students to have the "Perfect American Lifestyle". Graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, use it in a career ... somehow, and raise your kids to do the same. WHY IS THAT NORMAL!>!??!?! It kills me!!!
Hahah thank you if you read this. I love you. And I still love you if you didn't!
Peaceee sucka freeee Sunday night(:
Monday, October 27, 2008
let go
I'm learning how to say NO. I'm learning how to stand up for what I believe in. I know what I believe in. I won't let people push me around. I will speak up for my beliefs. It feels good.
Also, I want to embrace high school. I hate always looking to the next big thing. Take it a day at a time.
LOVE and PEACEEEE sucka free sundaeeeee
Also, I want to embrace high school. I hate always looking to the next big thing. Take it a day at a time.
LOVE and PEACEEEE sucka free sundaeeeee
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thinking about high school and how I'm still suck in that world makes me sick. I just want to cry. High school is not where I want to be. I want to be out in the world. I hate being surrounded by bad feelings and bad people. I hate being forced to be around my past self all the time and remember memories that I just want to forget. I hate how we're not friends anymore. Seeing people I used to be so close with makes me just want to scream!!! I don't know what made us fall apart from each other, maybe we're just different. We want different things, we have different goals. But we had so much fun and I still have so much love for you. I'm stuck in the past. I need to let myself move on. I want to graduate. Last year was so much better.
AnyyyyWAYYYYSSSSS I'm 18. Last night was fun. I love Jen. We watched a movie called Speak. It's amazing.
I'm about to go to Lutheran High's thrift store for their $5 bag sale.... that's what i've been looking forward to for SOOO lONGGGGG. hahah I love new, old clothes
PEAceee sucka freeeee 18-year-old sundaeeeee
AnyyyyWAYYYYSSSSS I'm 18. Last night was fun. I love Jen. We watched a movie called Speak. It's amazing.
I'm about to go to Lutheran High's thrift store for their $5 bag sale.... that's what i've been looking forward to for SOOO lONGGGGG. hahah I love new, old clothes
PEAceee sucka freeeee 18-year-old sundaeeeee
Monday, October 20, 2008
So
This is it. 3 more days and I will no longer be considered a child. 17 is such an awesome age. I loved being 17. I love being young. I'm so lucky to understand that I should embrace every stage of life I am in at every moment. I used to say I don't want to turn 18, and a part of me is still scared and wants to be a kid. I knew that when the day came, though, that I would be ready. I am ready. This is an age and a stage of my life that I feel ready to jump into full-force.
18-year-old plans:
vote
road trip over spring break with Jen to norcal
nose pierced? maybe not
clubs with Jen, and Ruben (hahaha!)
build a bike?
college
new job
"roam if you want to, roam around the world"
Hoookayyyyy PEACE sucka freee sundaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
18-year-old plans:
vote
road trip over spring break with Jen to norcal
nose pierced? maybe not
clubs with Jen, and Ruben (hahaha!)
build a bike?
college
new job
"roam if you want to, roam around the world"
Hoookayyyyy PEACE sucka freee sundaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
ayeeeee
Honestly, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to be anything when I grow up, I don't want to grow up, I don't want to work. I am so uninspired to try and climb the ladder of success on this earth because IT DOESN'T MATTER. Nothing matters except for Jesus. He wants me to do well and to live for him. I want to do what he wants me to do, but while I'm trying to figure out what that is, I am completely uninspired to do anything. I lost one of my college applications in my house somewhere and that is throwing me off my rocker. I don't want to do anything. I just want to sit here and listen to music forever and get lost in my brain.
I want to do dts, I don't want to go to college yet.
I want to do dts, I don't want to go to college yet.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
la la la la la love
I'm having a lame weekend. MANY great things happened, such as 2 extra days off, my wyld life talk went well on thursday, a wonderful show on friday, and Homecoming was fabulous!!!!
Everything on the outside was amazing, but my insides are hating life. My heart isn't happy and my head is stressing on trying to figure out why it's not happy like it always is. I have a head ache. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I haven't done any homework. I just want to be in heaven.
Being stressed over earthly things is soooo laameeeeeeeeeeeee! It doesn't even matter but everyone thinks it matters so that makes me think it matters too. I wish my parents weren't so concerned about the world. They stress me out the most. Life is not about how many A's I can get my teachers to bubble in on my report card. I wish they saw that.
I miss work crew. I miss woodleaf. I miss the perfection of being in that place. I miss my Bano Babes and our wonderful work crew boss. THe laundry ladies and Heather. Sean's and Charles' faces. I miss summer stafffffff and assignment team. I miss the blob. I miss Bill and all the "Hey Neighbor"s. I miss seeing kids change right before our eyes. I miss singing to them after the 15 minutes. I miss helping the dining hall. I miss our best days and I even miss our worst day ever. I miss when our biggest worry was Emily telling us to get into bed. I miss the bonds we all made and all the prayers we said together. I miss running around in Mar Mar's leotard and trying to do cartwheels all the time. I miss Tableau night. I miss my woodleaf family. I love you alllllllllllllllll and I'm always praying for all of you.
Everything on the outside was amazing, but my insides are hating life. My heart isn't happy and my head is stressing on trying to figure out why it's not happy like it always is. I have a head ache. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I haven't done any homework. I just want to be in heaven.
Being stressed over earthly things is soooo laameeeeeeeeeeeee! It doesn't even matter but everyone thinks it matters so that makes me think it matters too. I wish my parents weren't so concerned about the world. They stress me out the most. Life is not about how many A's I can get my teachers to bubble in on my report card. I wish they saw that.
I miss work crew. I miss woodleaf. I miss the perfection of being in that place. I miss my Bano Babes and our wonderful work crew boss. THe laundry ladies and Heather. Sean's and Charles' faces. I miss summer stafffffff and assignment team. I miss the blob. I miss Bill and all the "Hey Neighbor"s. I miss seeing kids change right before our eyes. I miss singing to them after the 15 minutes. I miss helping the dining hall. I miss our best days and I even miss our worst day ever. I miss when our biggest worry was Emily telling us to get into bed. I miss the bonds we all made and all the prayers we said together. I miss running around in Mar Mar's leotard and trying to do cartwheels all the time. I miss Tableau night. I miss my woodleaf family. I love you alllllllllllllllll and I'm always praying for all of you.
Monday, October 6, 2008
"You're destroying my self confidence"
That's a line in Flowers for Algernon. We're doing that play in ATA this semester.
That line's been stuck in my head all night. Sometimes my mom destroys my self confidence. I don't like the way she shuts down every idea I have. I feel like she's so consumed with "the way of the world" and can't accept anything that goes against that. I'm trying to concentrate on what God wants for me but it's so hard when my mom is telling me to do other things. God is calling me to be bold and take risks and my mom wants me to take the safe route. I don't know how to do anything, I just know to pray.
Tonight my mom started picking me apart. She loves me, but she lets the world get the best of her sometimes. I just pray I can show her the most complete love possible.
I'm emotionally drained. I'm stressed. I need a 4 day weekend. I need my cousins and my aunt. I love you guys.
peace sucka freeeeee sundae
That line's been stuck in my head all night. Sometimes my mom destroys my self confidence. I don't like the way she shuts down every idea I have. I feel like she's so consumed with "the way of the world" and can't accept anything that goes against that. I'm trying to concentrate on what God wants for me but it's so hard when my mom is telling me to do other things. God is calling me to be bold and take risks and my mom wants me to take the safe route. I don't know how to do anything, I just know to pray.
Tonight my mom started picking me apart. She loves me, but she lets the world get the best of her sometimes. I just pray I can show her the most complete love possible.
I'm emotionally drained. I'm stressed. I need a 4 day weekend. I need my cousins and my aunt. I love you guys.
peace sucka freeeeee sundae
Crazy on the Outside, Confident on the Inside
My little sister wrote a short essay about me. I love her. I love her writing. Here it is !
"Her bright vivid clothing is what first draws your attention. Kelsey Waldron, my older sister, is a sight to see. But she’s more than wild clothing and funny hair. Once you get to know her you see amazing qualities and understand how she can be so flamboyant in her outward style. Her hair is cut short, like a boy, usually gelled into some odd position. If you get close enough you can see a golden band of color across the middle of her brown hair. Her glasses are odd, but seem normal when compared to the rest of her. Her clothes are beyond description, because every outfit has a different look. Yet, mysteriously, it’s always a unique “Kelsey look”. She has scarves of every color and texture, her shoes are every shade of the rainbow and every pattern that has been drawn. Kelsey’s closet could be confused with a thrift store or a designer gallery. If you judged this book by the cover, you might get the wrong impression.
On the inside, Kelsey loves life and God. She’s so pre-occupied with serving others she barely has time to sleep. She doesn’t just attend church; she’s part of the leadership for the junior high group. Between activities, you will find her planning upcoming events, even planning talks on how God can touch their lives.
"Her bright vivid clothing is what first draws your attention. Kelsey Waldron, my older sister, is a sight to see. But she’s more than wild clothing and funny hair. Once you get to know her you see amazing qualities and understand how she can be so flamboyant in her outward style. Her hair is cut short, like a boy, usually gelled into some odd position. If you get close enough you can see a golden band of color across the middle of her brown hair. Her glasses are odd, but seem normal when compared to the rest of her. Her clothes are beyond description, because every outfit has a different look. Yet, mysteriously, it’s always a unique “Kelsey look”. She has scarves of every color and texture, her shoes are every shade of the rainbow and every pattern that has been drawn. Kelsey’s closet could be confused with a thrift store or a designer gallery. If you judged this book by the cover, you might get the wrong impression.
On the inside, Kelsey loves life and God. She’s so pre-occupied with serving others she barely has time to sleep. She doesn’t just attend church; she’s part of the leadership for the junior high group. Between activities, you will find her planning upcoming events, even planning talks on how God can touch their lives.
Kelsey gets her confidence from God. Each morning she stares into her mirror that has this message written in old pink lipstick across the top, “The King is enthralled by your beauty”. It’s not that she’s vain; she just likes to be reminded that she’s perfect in God’s eyes. Her confidence grows by sharing this with other people.
This crazy girl, with the looks of a gypsy, I am proud to say is my sister, role-model and friend."
I'm unbelievably happy I've made my family more of a priority than I've made it in the past. Of all the people I should be showing Christ, they should be number one.
I love this song:
Heal my heart and make it free
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
Thursday, October 2, 2008
bahhhh
I'm dreading turning 18. It will be fun, and I know it's just a number, but it symbolizes me growing up.
"Youth is wasted on the young"
Let's not waste this!
"Youth is wasted on the young"
Let's not waste this!
Over it
I'm over trying to impress everyone. It's hard to find that balance between loving everyone and "impressing" them. I hate being fake, it makes me sick. I concentrate on others so much that I lose sight of God sometimes. I think God wants me to take some time for myself every once in a while and definitely more time for him.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sad
Do you ever feel like you need to be sad just to stay sane? Being happy all the time is awesome, but a little sad has to be mixed in there too. I could easily get over the sad things in my life and be happy like always, but right now I don't feel like it. I feel like being sad and crying. I like feeling different emotions than normal.
The deeper sadness carves at your soul, the more joy it can contain.
I love Jesus. I love knowing that I'm not perfect, and that it's perfectly fine.
I always love this song, but right now it speaks to me more than ever.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I'm sad. But I am still joyful.
The deeper sadness carves at your soul, the more joy it can contain.
I love Jesus. I love knowing that I'm not perfect, and that it's perfectly fine.
I always love this song, but right now it speaks to me more than ever.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I'm sad. But I am still joyful.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Sometimes
Sometimes, I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I just want to snuggle all day and sleep.
That sounds so good right now.
Ohhh YeeEeEaahh!
That sounds so good right now.
Ohhh YeeEeEaahh!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Haaayyy
My head has so many thoughts that I don't know what to write. I am just so blessed with amazing people in my life. There are so many opportunities for me, I don't know where to start. I'm so young, I have my whole life ahead of me. I have all of eternity ahead of me. Eternity is a long time. Thinking about eternity makes me think about how meaningless acceptance of this world is. I wish I wasn't so concerned with how people thought of me. If we're all completely honest with ourselves, I know there's a bit of self-consciousness in everyone; It's just our human nature.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
That verse has been on my heart recently. I know I've been looking forward to a lot of things. I just need to take things a day at a time and work on glorifying God now, not later.
I LOVE YOU!
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
That verse has been on my heart recently. I know I've been looking forward to a lot of things. I just need to take things a day at a time and work on glorifying God now, not later.
I LOVE YOU!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Life!!!
I love the way life always works out. When you just give up anything and everything to God, it always works out for the better. WAY better. If you follow what God says, life really is so much more amazing and fulfilling than any other life. I love Jesus!!!!!!!
I just made one of the most exciting phone calls of my life.
Hey God,
I praise you for the amazing God you are. I am so thankful that you love me and that you want to get to know me on a deeper level than anything in this superficial world. My mind can't come anywhere close to understanding all the love you have for me!! I pray that I can fulfill your plans for my life and glorify your name through all my words and actions. Thank you for filling my life with people who love you and love me too. Thank you for showing us what true love is meant to be.
Love,
Kelsey
I just made one of the most exciting phone calls of my life.
Hey God,
I praise you for the amazing God you are. I am so thankful that you love me and that you want to get to know me on a deeper level than anything in this superficial world. My mind can't come anywhere close to understanding all the love you have for me!! I pray that I can fulfill your plans for my life and glorify your name through all my words and actions. Thank you for filling my life with people who love you and love me too. Thank you for showing us what true love is meant to be.
Love,
Kelsey
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
What happened
I feel like all my inspiration is leaving me. I'm not motivated to do well anymore. I need to work on that. College is around the corner and I want to go to Cal Lutheran!!! I need to remember how bad I want in, and how bad I need to get that scholarship.
I hate applications, I'd so much rather go talk with someone in person. Hopefully it gets to that point !!!
I hate applications, I'd so much rather go talk with someone in person. Hopefully it gets to that point !!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Oh myyy wordddd
The simplicity of this verse gets me every time.
"I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live." Ecclesiastes 3:12
It's cool how the most confusing questions have the simplest answers.
"I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live." Ecclesiastes 3:12
It's cool how the most confusing questions have the simplest answers.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Ecclesiastes
My new favorite book in the Bible is Ecclesiastes. God has a sense of humor and I love when I see it and get to laugh with Him. I have been struggling with the meaninglessness of life and I was just led to open my bible and look up these verses. They led me straight to Ecclesiastes and it's so solid. I recommend it for sure !
I'm on internet explorer and it does not have spell check like mozilla; I'm struggling.
I hate when people make things complicated. I make things complicated all the time and I wish I didn't. Life is so easy if you just let it be. Seriously, give everything up to God, He knows what He's doing. Let him lead you and guide you in the right direction. I don't like when having a crush on someone turns into the complicated stage of liking each other. Are we hanging out, dating, in a relationship, together, not together, friends, more than friends? It makes me cringe.
Maybe I'm just lazy, but when a relationship with a guy just falls into place for me, then maybe I'll settle down. Until then, hayyyy single life & little crushes ! What's the point of being serious at this young anyways? I'm down for awesome friendships. Maybe some day we'll be together, but I'm not planning on settling down any time soon.
Let's be friends
PEACE sucka freee sundaaaeeeeeeeee (:
I'm on internet explorer and it does not have spell check like mozilla; I'm struggling.
I hate when people make things complicated. I make things complicated all the time and I wish I didn't. Life is so easy if you just let it be. Seriously, give everything up to God, He knows what He's doing. Let him lead you and guide you in the right direction. I don't like when having a crush on someone turns into the complicated stage of liking each other. Are we hanging out, dating, in a relationship, together, not together, friends, more than friends? It makes me cringe.
Maybe I'm just lazy, but when a relationship with a guy just falls into place for me, then maybe I'll settle down. Until then, hayyyy single life & little crushes ! What's the point of being serious at this young anyways? I'm down for awesome friendships. Maybe some day we'll be together, but I'm not planning on settling down any time soon.
Let's be friends
PEACE sucka freee sundaaaeeeeeeeee (:
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Trapped
Ever since I got home from Woodleaf, there have been many instances where I've felt completely trapped. I feel trapped when people around me gossip. When people talk about celebrity gossip I just laugh. Are you serious? You don't even know Britney Spears or Kanye West!!!!!!! You don't know the situation, our MEDIA fabricates these untrue scenarios out of pictures they can find or videos they can edit. Maybe it's true, but why judge them? What's with all the hate? I don't mean to sound like a "positive patsy" or what the heck ever, but seriously, where is the love? Our media rubs off on all of us and we're all trapped in this world of hating on others and blaaahhhhhhhh!! It makes me go crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even with celebrities, with people around school or anywhere. We act like we know everything about people like, "she is such a slut!" No, you just heard one story about her so you're labeling her. Everyone does things they look back on and think oh my gosh, that was so stupid of me. We all get caught up in the moment sometimes and do stupid things. Maybe I'm being judgemental or something just by writing this, but it's been bugging me and making me miss the perfection of Woodleaf. There was little to no drama there. I miss that. Everyone was so loving and open. I can't even imagine how amazing our world would be if we all lived with such high standards of love for each other. Kill the hate pleeeeeaseeee!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Ew
I hate reading my last post. hahaha.
I love when I take a risk by making myself vulnerable and I get back positive results. I've been thinking a lot about things tonight, I'm confused. My heart and my head are not getting along; I feel it in the pit of my stomach. THankfully(!!!), I am not alone ! Relating to people in deeper ways is one of my favorite parts about living. The fact that God gave each and every one of us the ability to think our own thoughts is beyond amazing, awesome, or any word I can think of.
I am filled with so much joy when I form friendships that aren't one-sided. Selfish friendships are the worst, but I love when I find people who you can give to and get some good in return. Most friendships based around God end up like this, and I am so thankful to be blessed with these people in my life.
peace sucka freeeee sundaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I love when I take a risk by making myself vulnerable and I get back positive results. I've been thinking a lot about things tonight, I'm confused. My heart and my head are not getting along; I feel it in the pit of my stomach. THankfully(!!!), I am not alone ! Relating to people in deeper ways is one of my favorite parts about living. The fact that God gave each and every one of us the ability to think our own thoughts is beyond amazing, awesome, or any word I can think of.
I am filled with so much joy when I form friendships that aren't one-sided. Selfish friendships are the worst, but I love when I find people who you can give to and get some good in return. Most friendships based around God end up like this, and I am so thankful to be blessed with these people in my life.
peace sucka freeeee sundaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sunday, September 7, 2008
haha
Jen and I talk about this all the time, but do you ever think about the names you call people? Such as, asshole. Are you serious? Why would you call someone that? "Dickhead" No. You are a child. That's disgusting. I would like to see our adults in this country have more integrity than just calling people names. Or at least be creative, come on.
I'm working on thinking about everything in different perspectives. It's refreshing.
I'm working on thinking about everything in different perspectives. It's refreshing.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Yes
I want a bike. At this moment in time, I am excited to turn 18. This winter break my family & Jen & I are going to Chicago and I'm excited for that too!!!! I'm also excited for going to the santa ana art district this weekend wooo!
Art class at Foothill is the most fun class I've ever taken. I love it. For years I've been holding myself back from things I love just to conform to how I think this world wants me to be. I'm so glad I'm over that stage and on to things that I LOVE. I love art and seeing how different people all express themselves in different ways. Every person on this earth is an artist but not one person expresses themselves in the exact same way. Art takes endless forms and I loooove seeing how different people show a piece of their soul. I feel that art is a little glimpse of one's soul. Seeing into the soul is rare but when it happens, it's something magical.
Yes!
Peace SUcka FreeeEEEEEE SundaE
Art class at Foothill is the most fun class I've ever taken. I love it. For years I've been holding myself back from things I love just to conform to how I think this world wants me to be. I'm so glad I'm over that stage and on to things that I LOVE. I love art and seeing how different people all express themselves in different ways. Every person on this earth is an artist but not one person expresses themselves in the exact same way. Art takes endless forms and I loooove seeing how different people show a piece of their soul. I feel that art is a little glimpse of one's soul. Seeing into the soul is rare but when it happens, it's something magical.
Yes!
Peace SUcka FreeeEEEEEE SundaE
Senior discount?
I'm a senior in high school. I feel so young. My 18th birthday is in less than 2 months and a part of me is super excited, but the other part of me is dreading it like crazy. Me? An adult? You've got to be joking.
I either want to go to Cal Lutheran University or go on mission trips for a year after I graduate. I don't want to be in Orange County. I know that by then I'll be so sick of being here because that sickness has already started.
Dance party birthday party?????? I'm just throwing that idea out there.
My schedule is has so much less stress put into it this year. One of the main things I have to concentrate on is my Gold Award for Girl Scouts. Heck yeah I'm still a Girl Scout, 13 years strong suckas.
Tonight is my first night of work in over a month. I'm excited that I've found motivation to do well at everything I do through Christ. Without Him as my motovator, I wouldn't be getting anything done. I'm excited to look back on this year and hope I can say that the decisions I'm making now are the right ones.
GOALS:
-4.0 gpa
-get into Cal Lutheran
-get a hefty scholarship to attend Cal Lutheran
-embrace my teachers, not challenge them
-not get caught up, sit back and think logically about decisions I make
-contact YWAM about serving with them
-be bold and joyful for Jesus
Peeeeace sucka free sundaeee !!!!!!!
I either want to go to Cal Lutheran University or go on mission trips for a year after I graduate. I don't want to be in Orange County. I know that by then I'll be so sick of being here because that sickness has already started.
Dance party birthday party?????? I'm just throwing that idea out there.
My schedule is has so much less stress put into it this year. One of the main things I have to concentrate on is my Gold Award for Girl Scouts. Heck yeah I'm still a Girl Scout, 13 years strong suckas.
Tonight is my first night of work in over a month. I'm excited that I've found motivation to do well at everything I do through Christ. Without Him as my motovator, I wouldn't be getting anything done. I'm excited to look back on this year and hope I can say that the decisions I'm making now are the right ones.
GOALS:
-4.0 gpa
-get into Cal Lutheran
-get a hefty scholarship to attend Cal Lutheran
-embrace my teachers, not challenge them
-not get caught up, sit back and think logically about decisions I make
-contact YWAM about serving with them
-be bold and joyful for Jesus
Peeeeace sucka free sundaeee !!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Blaahhhh
I hate guilt trips about anything, especially small things that don't even matter very much anyways.
I love being friends with boys.
I am excited for school, but I was more excited when I didn't know Mr. Price was my english teacher. He's cool but his teaching style doesn't work out for me.
I love when people say they're proud of you, especially when you're not very sure of yourself.
Peace sucka freeee sundaeeeeee see you at school suckaz!
P.S. I'm changing and you probably won't like it, but I do and Jesus does.
I love being friends with boys.
I am excited for school, but I was more excited when I didn't know Mr. Price was my english teacher. He's cool but his teaching style doesn't work out for me.
I love when people say they're proud of you, especially when you're not very sure of yourself.
Peace sucka freeee sundaeeeeee see you at school suckaz!
P.S. I'm changing and you probably won't like it, but I do and Jesus does.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
It's Amazing.
Today has been one of the best days of my life. I don't know how to explain it, but God filled my life with so much peace tonight. Everything I am doing feels like it has a purpose and I'm so happy that God is letting me know that He is there and I am here with purpose. God has a plan for my life and I'm filled with endless excitement about following Him.
God put me on this planet so that I might... be bold and joyful in His name.
God put me on this planet so that I might... be bold and joyful in His name.
All I need
Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak
Won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray
Got every reason to be here again
Father's love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is you Lord
One more day and it's not the same
Your spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord
You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold
You hold
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord
Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still"
That has been my motto recently. It was written on my bunk at work crew by a girl named Lo who was on my bed before me. It was a gift.
Hear You speak
Won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray
Got every reason to be here again
Father's love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is you Lord
One more day and it's not the same
Your spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord
You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold
You hold
All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord
Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still"
That has been my motto recently. It was written on my bunk at work crew by a girl named Lo who was on my bed before me. It was a gift.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
neon cross
God has blessed me with difficult people and difficult situations. You might not think "blessed" is the right word, but I do.
Spiritual maturity at my young age is rare. Actually, spiritual maturity at any age is rare. I'm reading an amazing book called unChristian and I seriously recommend it to people strong in their faith and people not so strong. It talks a lot about the 3% of the US population with a "Christian wold-view" and how lame that small percentage is! The reason Christianity has such a bad rep is because of the other 97% of people who call themselves Christians but don't live out their faith.
I give this analogy a lot, someone awesome told it to me and it really hit home. If you really, truly believed that I was going to punch you in the face you would react, right? You would block it or dodge it or hit me back or do something. Most people wouldn't just sit there and let me punch their lights out.
In the same way, if you really, truly believed that Jesus Christ died for all the sins of humanity and if you really, truly believed that every single person on this earth is imperfect and is infected with sin with no way out except through Him and He gave up his life for you to live eternally in heaven.... you would react, right? You wouldn't just sit there, I know it.
Belief=Action
I know I'm not perfect. I know I can never live up to God's awesome standards and that no matter how hard I try I will keep on sinning. But God is bigger than all our imperfections. He calls us saints and He wants us to live up to that. If you ask, He will forgive. He wants to see us succeed and follow His path of righteousness.
Spiritual maturity at my young age is rare. Actually, spiritual maturity at any age is rare. I'm reading an amazing book called unChristian and I seriously recommend it to people strong in their faith and people not so strong. It talks a lot about the 3% of the US population with a "Christian wold-view" and how lame that small percentage is! The reason Christianity has such a bad rep is because of the other 97% of people who call themselves Christians but don't live out their faith.
I give this analogy a lot, someone awesome told it to me and it really hit home. If you really, truly believed that I was going to punch you in the face you would react, right? You would block it or dodge it or hit me back or do something. Most people wouldn't just sit there and let me punch their lights out.
In the same way, if you really, truly believed that Jesus Christ died for all the sins of humanity and if you really, truly believed that every single person on this earth is imperfect and is infected with sin with no way out except through Him and He gave up his life for you to live eternally in heaven.... you would react, right? You wouldn't just sit there, I know it.
Belief=Action
I know I'm not perfect. I know I can never live up to God's awesome standards and that no matter how hard I try I will keep on sinning. But God is bigger than all our imperfections. He calls us saints and He wants us to live up to that. If you ask, He will forgive. He wants to see us succeed and follow His path of righteousness.
Blessings
I've always known that I am so blessed in my life, but recently I've just been realizing how much awesome stuff God's been doing in my life.
I'm so thankful to have been able to leave for a month to serve God with every waking second there. It was awesome to feel what it was like to be surrounded by Christ-loving people for 4 weeks straight. I now know that I don't need to lower my standards at all and that people out there feel the same way I do. I made friends that I will never forget and I have so much love for the family I made there!
Coming home from a completely Jesus-centered environment back into our messed up culture has been really hard on me. It's almost like I'm experiencing culture shock? Thankfully, God had blessed me with AMAZING friends to get me through it. Recently I have been becoming closer with people that I feel I can completely relate. Not just "relate to" in our shallow society's way of relating by hating, but relating on a deeper level of things that really matter. Talking with someone about deeper questions about life and God and finding compatibility in our views is so awesome.
A lot of people are talking to me about leaving for a month and about how loooong that is, but reallly, a month isn't even that long. Plus, I came home with an experience I'll never forget and friends that will be in my life for eternity, and nothing at home changed.
Just some thoughts.
Also, I love television.
PEAce sucka freeeee sundaeeeeeee
I'm so thankful to have been able to leave for a month to serve God with every waking second there. It was awesome to feel what it was like to be surrounded by Christ-loving people for 4 weeks straight. I now know that I don't need to lower my standards at all and that people out there feel the same way I do. I made friends that I will never forget and I have so much love for the family I made there!
Coming home from a completely Jesus-centered environment back into our messed up culture has been really hard on me. It's almost like I'm experiencing culture shock? Thankfully, God had blessed me with AMAZING friends to get me through it. Recently I have been becoming closer with people that I feel I can completely relate. Not just "relate to" in our shallow society's way of relating by hating, but relating on a deeper level of things that really matter. Talking with someone about deeper questions about life and God and finding compatibility in our views is so awesome.
A lot of people are talking to me about leaving for a month and about how loooong that is, but reallly, a month isn't even that long. Plus, I came home with an experience I'll never forget and friends that will be in my life for eternity, and nothing at home changed.
Just some thoughts.
Also, I love television.
PEAce sucka freeeee sundaeeeeeee
Thursday, August 28, 2008
happy crappy
I got home from Woodleaf a few days ago. I can't even begin to blog about it because I could never sum up everything I learned, experienced and felt up there.
I hate being a disappointment to people or letting anyone down. I feel like that's all I've been and done since I got home.
I hate being a disappointment to people or letting anyone down. I feel like that's all I've been and done since I got home.
Friday, July 25, 2008
fun fun fun
Well, tomorrow is the big day. I'm leaving for a whooole month and I am definitely ready to leave. I can't wait! I am full of excitement but I'm missing out on getting to know people and hanging out with people which I'm bummed about.
If you want to keep in contact with me pleeeeease write me letters!! It would be so amazing to hear from you and I would love to write back!!!!!!
Kelsey Waldron
Young Life's Woodleaf
P.O. Box 397
Challenge, CA 95925
I love and miss you already!!!<33333
If you want to keep in contact with me pleeeeease write me letters!! It would be so amazing to hear from you and I would love to write back!!!!!!
Kelsey Waldron
Young Life's Woodleaf
P.O. Box 397
Challenge, CA 95925
I love and miss you already!!!<33333
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I'm leaving!!!
On Saturday I begin a 12 hour journey to my destination in northern California where I'll be staying for a month! I'm going to a Young Life camp called Woodleaf to serve in fellowship with other high schoolers and I'm beyond excited.
(:
(:
Monday, July 21, 2008
FAIL
"You're too retarded for gears. You need a fixed or a single speed because gears are too complicated for you, for most people it's the other way around."
I can derail any chain you have on your 10 or 12-speed bicycle without even trying hard; It's a gift.
I can derail any chain you have on your 10 or 12-speed bicycle without even trying hard; It's a gift.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Realization:
I like getting to know people. I love meeting new people and making new friends, absolutely love it. People are so awesome and I love how people all think different thoughts about the same things. Opinions are so great, I can't believe sometimes how God gave everyone the ability to think for themselves.
I feel like I enjoy getting to know people because I am on an endless search to find more people who just get me. Honestly, I know one person. We are friend soul mates. Froul mates, if you will. Every person in the world has potential to be a soul mate in one form or another. It freaks me out that I let people pass me in the street without getting to know them. Those people just walking by could relate to me on so many levels and I'll never even know because we will never see each other again, let alone share our thoughts.
So, I think I am getting annoyed a lot recently because so many people are letting down my expectations. I don't think that these expectations are right for me to have and I don't believe they are really attainable, but I see people throw their morals out the window and that makes me sad. I see people settle for less than what they deserve and that makes me sad.
I have a few people in mind that live way past my ridiculous expectations and I hope that we do connect on that level. More people to nothing party with is all I want. Nothing party fever!!!
I feel like I enjoy getting to know people because I am on an endless search to find more people who just get me. Honestly, I know one person. We are friend soul mates. Froul mates, if you will. Every person in the world has potential to be a soul mate in one form or another. It freaks me out that I let people pass me in the street without getting to know them. Those people just walking by could relate to me on so many levels and I'll never even know because we will never see each other again, let alone share our thoughts.
So, I think I am getting annoyed a lot recently because so many people are letting down my expectations. I don't think that these expectations are right for me to have and I don't believe they are really attainable, but I see people throw their morals out the window and that makes me sad. I see people settle for less than what they deserve and that makes me sad.
I have a few people in mind that live way past my ridiculous expectations and I hope that we do connect on that level. More people to nothing party with is all I want. Nothing party fever!!!
BlAAH
"Jack of all trades, master at none."
That saying is a huge part of my life, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I like trying everything and I usually like everything I try so that makes me Jack! Aayyyo!
Life is full of paradox. That's all I will say about that.
Recently I've been so annoyed by everything and I hate that. I'm usually so open to whatever and annoying me is usually a difficult task. I think it's because I'm so anxious to leave. I just want to be gone. 7 more days.
I love people who can handle you at your worst and still love you just as much when you're in a bad mood. aka Jen. I also loooove people who can lift your spirits no matter what. aka Lee.
Peaceeee sucka free sundaeaeeeaeaeeaeeee
That saying is a huge part of my life, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I like trying everything and I usually like everything I try so that makes me Jack! Aayyyo!
Life is full of paradox. That's all I will say about that.
Recently I've been so annoyed by everything and I hate that. I'm usually so open to whatever and annoying me is usually a difficult task. I think it's because I'm so anxious to leave. I just want to be gone. 7 more days.
I love people who can handle you at your worst and still love you just as much when you're in a bad mood. aka Jen. I also loooove people who can lift your spirits no matter what. aka Lee.
Peaceeee sucka free sundaeaeeeaeaeeaeeee
Sigh
If being sighed at in disappointment isn't the worst feeling ever, then please tell me what is because being sighed at makes me want to give up more than anything. That has to be the best self-esteem killer.
I got lost (unfortunately, the story of my life) on my way to traffic school this morning so I was late and therefore was sent home. I returned home to a mother who just sighed in my face and walked away. I always feel like parents are supposed to be supportive but they seem to tear me down more often than not. Negative negative negative negative
Last night I signed up for an MTV reality show. I really want to be on it.
Peace sucka freeeeeeeeeee 7 days!
I got lost (unfortunately, the story of my life) on my way to traffic school this morning so I was late and therefore was sent home. I returned home to a mother who just sighed in my face and walked away. I always feel like parents are supposed to be supportive but they seem to tear me down more often than not. Negative negative negative negative
Last night I signed up for an MTV reality show. I really want to be on it.
Peace sucka freeeeeeeeeee 7 days!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Midnight Madness
Wow. Last night I was blown away by Heath Ledger's performance in The Dark Knight. The movie was fun to watch with my family. I love my cousins and Happy Birthday Uncle Dave, Thomas and Andrew!!
My brother and my uncle share the same birthday and my cousin Andrew's is pretty close too, so to celebrate we went to P. F. Chang's for dinner; I'm definitely a fan. After our super late dinner we went to see The Dark Knight at 12:01am. I guess it's cool to see the movie at midnight first, before everyone, but really, I think I would have rather slept. The fact that I was up until 4 because of a movie that I could have just seen the next morning is lame. It really is no benefit to me that I saw it a few hours before sane people did. Also, I was so tired that I ditched my friend this morning and that's not cool on my part.
But really, what is the point of midnight movies? Why are so many people enthralled with being first, or discovering a band before everyone, or taking ownership of things because "I saw it first!" I don't like that, let's share.
My brother and my uncle share the same birthday and my cousin Andrew's is pretty close too, so to celebrate we went to P. F. Chang's for dinner; I'm definitely a fan. After our super late dinner we went to see The Dark Knight at 12:01am. I guess it's cool to see the movie at midnight first, before everyone, but really, I think I would have rather slept. The fact that I was up until 4 because of a movie that I could have just seen the next morning is lame. It really is no benefit to me that I saw it a few hours before sane people did. Also, I was so tired that I ditched my friend this morning and that's not cool on my part.
But really, what is the point of midnight movies? Why are so many people enthralled with being first, or discovering a band before everyone, or taking ownership of things because "I saw it first!" I don't like that, let's share.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
CHANGE
I don't know why this has been bugging me so much lately. Actually, I do.
I'm a huge fan of new things, open minds, and being truthful with people. Because I am a fan of these things, it's weird for me to try and step in the shoes of someone who isn't. I like variety.
I have a really hard time accepting that some people don't like me. I want to be friends with everyone but I don't think some people like that I'm always doing different things. I look back on some of my friends who used to be closer to me and wonder why we drifted apart. I miss them. But then I look at what they're doing with their life now and it's exactly the same as when we were friends. No change, no variety. They still have the same conversations, go the same places, talk to the same people. I see no growth when I talk to them and that makes me either not miss them at all, or it makes me want to take them out of their comfort zone and show them the amazing things life has to offer outside their little bubble.
Come explore life with me. You might think you know what you like, but how can you know what your favorite is when you haven't tried everything else?
Peace sucka freeee SUNdaaaeeeeeee
I'm a huge fan of new things, open minds, and being truthful with people. Because I am a fan of these things, it's weird for me to try and step in the shoes of someone who isn't. I like variety.
I have a really hard time accepting that some people don't like me. I want to be friends with everyone but I don't think some people like that I'm always doing different things. I look back on some of my friends who used to be closer to me and wonder why we drifted apart. I miss them. But then I look at what they're doing with their life now and it's exactly the same as when we were friends. No change, no variety. They still have the same conversations, go the same places, talk to the same people. I see no growth when I talk to them and that makes me either not miss them at all, or it makes me want to take them out of their comfort zone and show them the amazing things life has to offer outside their little bubble.
Come explore life with me. You might think you know what you like, but how can you know what your favorite is when you haven't tried everything else?
Peace sucka freeee SUNdaaaeeeeeee
different
People change a lot; I change a lot. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, but inside I'm going crazy. I miss people a lot. Maybe I don't miss them, I just miss the idea of them being there. It's weird how nothing in life is constant, except for God. I love how consistent God's love is. Sometimes that's the only thing keeping me sane.
If people drift away from you is it best to let it happen and let them come back to you (if ever) or to pursue them constantly?
just a question to sleep on.
Peace sucka freeeeeeeeeeeee 10 dayz
If people drift away from you is it best to let it happen and let them come back to you (if ever) or to pursue them constantly?
just a question to sleep on.
Peace sucka freeeeeeeeeeeee 10 dayz
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Alright people
So have you ever been to a show/concert/live performance and been moved so much by the music that you just stand there completely in awe?
Sometimes I can't even dance (I KNOW) because I get so caught up in the fact that the people on stage are using instruments that are sold everywhere, but the combination of them all together makes something completely original every time. AND IT'S SO GOOOOD. How do musicians come up with these things? I am blown away by the fact that a group of people can move me so much, from goosebumps to tears, by playing notes with strings and hitting drums.
How freakin sweet is that? I love life and the fact that God has blessed us to be able to feel such a huge range of emotions.
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain... When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." -The Prophet
my sleepless rants.
Sometimes I can't even dance (I KNOW) because I get so caught up in the fact that the people on stage are using instruments that are sold everywhere, but the combination of them all together makes something completely original every time. AND IT'S SO GOOOOD. How do musicians come up with these things? I am blown away by the fact that a group of people can move me so much, from goosebumps to tears, by playing notes with strings and hitting drums.
How freakin sweet is that? I love life and the fact that God has blessed us to be able to feel such a huge range of emotions.
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain... When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." -The Prophet
my sleepless rants.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Little Girl
When men act like little girls, I want to punch someone in the face. It's not cool when I am more manly than someone with a penis.
That said, I love when things are made all better by humor and laughter. You can be as girlish as you want as long as the girlishness is followed by laughter instead of me feeling of wanting to punch someone. Then I dig it.
Anyway, so I've had this intense ear infection, that I won't go into detail about, for about 6 months. When I say intense I mean IN TENTS intense. The most cray cray ear infection you've ever seen, It won't quit! But I went to an ear specialist today, he was hilarious and I already feel like my ear's healing. Hooray for doctors who know what they're doing! The Irvine Walk In Clinic just wasn't cutting it for me... I don't trust them, and I trust just about anyone.
I am going surfing tomorrow with Jen, George, Evan and hopefully Jeff and Emma. It's going to be the most epic nothing party ever without a doubt.
12 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE FOR WOODLEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peaceeee Sucka FREE SUNDAAAeeeeeee
That said, I love when things are made all better by humor and laughter. You can be as girlish as you want as long as the girlishness is followed by laughter instead of me feeling of wanting to punch someone. Then I dig it.
Anyway, so I've had this intense ear infection, that I won't go into detail about, for about 6 months. When I say intense I mean IN TENTS intense. The most cray cray ear infection you've ever seen, It won't quit! But I went to an ear specialist today, he was hilarious and I already feel like my ear's healing. Hooray for doctors who know what they're doing! The Irvine Walk In Clinic just wasn't cutting it for me... I don't trust them, and I trust just about anyone.
I am going surfing tomorrow with Jen, George, Evan and hopefully Jeff and Emma. It's going to be the most epic nothing party ever without a doubt.
12 DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE FOR WOODLEAF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peaceeee Sucka FREE SUNDAAAeeeeeee
Easyyyy
I feel like it takes a lot for me to become angry. I'm not sure if it would make you mad if you woke up early to go to work, drove there and then they told you that you were working in 8 hours instead. Maybe it would, but maybe you're like me and any excuse to drive around is amazing. I love driving, gas prices slaayyy meeee!
I don't like being a pain, ever. Do I sometimes trade my comfort for others to be comfortable? Probably, but is that so bad?
Peeeeace sucka free sundaeeeEEE
I don't like being a pain, ever. Do I sometimes trade my comfort for others to be comfortable? Probably, but is that so bad?
Peeeeace sucka free sundaeeeEEE
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Mehhh
I don't really have anything to say tonight.
Sometimes it's best to bask in the silence.
I love you guys, whoever is reading this, seriously all I feel is love in my heart right now.
I love Jesus.
Peace sucka free work all weeeeeek daaaaang do work
Sometimes it's best to bask in the silence.
I love you guys, whoever is reading this, seriously all I feel is love in my heart right now.
I love Jesus.
Peace sucka free work all weeeeeek daaaaang do work
Epic
I love Aushua. Those men are amazing people. I also love The American Gypsies! Surfing with Evan will be awesome! I'm so stoked on the new doors that have been opened to me now that I've stopped playing water polo. I miss it sometimes, but I feel like it was the right time to move on. Now I can experience so many more things and I'm not stressed, ahhhh! LG, baby. Life's Good.
The Living Suns' cd release show was fun! But I don't understand why people think moshing and punching each other in the face to The Living Suns is cool. Not cool guys.
More and more every day the thought of escaping for a month takes over my mind. I'm so excited for work crew at Woodleaf. I love getting away from everyday life and just taking time to have a reality check. I'm stoked to come home just in time to start my senior year, grounded, humbled and one with everything. Camp does that to me, especially when the focus is all on God. It's so easy to get lost in our world and lose sight of God and I feel like I've been struggling in keeping touch with Christ recently. This month away of intense focus on Him will bring me new ways of focus, I'm sure.
I love everybody. I love making new friends and realizing connections you have between people.
PEacE Sucka FrEEEE SundaEEEEE
The Living Suns' cd release show was fun! But I don't understand why people think moshing and punching each other in the face to The Living Suns is cool. Not cool guys.
More and more every day the thought of escaping for a month takes over my mind. I'm so excited for work crew at Woodleaf. I love getting away from everyday life and just taking time to have a reality check. I'm stoked to come home just in time to start my senior year, grounded, humbled and one with everything. Camp does that to me, especially when the focus is all on God. It's so easy to get lost in our world and lose sight of God and I feel like I've been struggling in keeping touch with Christ recently. This month away of intense focus on Him will bring me new ways of focus, I'm sure.
I love everybody. I love making new friends and realizing connections you have between people.
PEacE Sucka FrEEEE SundaEEEEE
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Perfection
I am perfect in my imperfections.
It makes me sad when people try to act perfect in every aspect of life. That has to be so hard! Putting up a front of perfectness all the time, covering up all your weak spots, dang, that's hard work. It makes me sad when I realize my imperfections and try to confide in someone with what I'm struggling with and they turn around and say "Oh, that sucks" then act like they're better than me.
I don't know if that makes sense, but why can't everyone just be there for everyone else? What about acting like you're better than someone gives you piece of mind? I know you're not perfect and I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying that to be real. "Perfection," whatever that might be, is unattainable.
Your imperfections and weaknesses make you unique, why not embrace yourself?
peace sucka free saturday
p.s.
show tonight, I'm pumped!
woodleaf in 2 weeks, I'm RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED!
It makes me sad when people try to act perfect in every aspect of life. That has to be so hard! Putting up a front of perfectness all the time, covering up all your weak spots, dang, that's hard work. It makes me sad when I realize my imperfections and try to confide in someone with what I'm struggling with and they turn around and say "Oh, that sucks" then act like they're better than me.
I don't know if that makes sense, but why can't everyone just be there for everyone else? What about acting like you're better than someone gives you piece of mind? I know you're not perfect and I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying that to be real. "Perfection," whatever that might be, is unattainable.
Your imperfections and weaknesses make you unique, why not embrace yourself?
peace sucka free saturday
p.s.
show tonight, I'm pumped!
woodleaf in 2 weeks, I'm RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Oh my goodness
I just sent a very exciting email. I hope the answer is just as exciting!!!!!!!!
I am going surfing tomorrow for the first time ever with my amazing friend Jeffrey! That will soon be me on a board!!!
We watched The Ruins last night..... lame. So freeakin lame.
This weekend an amazing show is coming up. On Saturday, not only is it Liz Magdaleno's 18th birthday(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), but it marks the album release of The Living Suns! They are playing with so many amazing bands, it is going to be an epic night of amazing music!!!
The show is at the House of Blues in Anaheim so if you're around please come out to this! You will not regret it! You will have eargasms all night long!
That is all.
PeaCe SuCka Freeeeeeeee SundaeeeEEE!!!!
I am going surfing tomorrow for the first time ever with my amazing friend Jeffrey! That will soon be me on a board!!!
We watched The Ruins last night..... lame. So freeakin lame.
This weekend an amazing show is coming up. On Saturday, not only is it Liz Magdaleno's 18th birthday(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), but it marks the album release of The Living Suns! They are playing with so many amazing bands, it is going to be an epic night of amazing music!!!
The show is at the House of Blues in Anaheim so if you're around please come out to this! You will not regret it! You will have eargasms all night long!
That is all.
PeaCe SuCka Freeeeeeeee SundaeeeEEE!!!!
crump
I want to be her. Daaaang! Look at her!
I try.
Now on a more serious note, I don't understand mystery. Why do many people strive to be mysterious? What is so appealing about mystery? Why do I have no fascination with being mysterious myself?
A lot of people I have been coming in contact with recently loooove being mysterious and all that crap, but I really don't like that. It's like they have something to hide, or a part of their life they'd rather not share with me and other people. I feel like I just lay everything out there and I don't really hold anything back. If you ask me a question, you'll get an honest answer with lots of details; I don't really hold back. Is that unappealing?
PEACE SUCKA freeeeee ice cream sundaaaaeeeeE
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
thank you for smoking
I've actually never seen that movie, but now that I mention it, why do people think smoking is cool? When it's 90 degrees outside, is it awesome inhaling tar into your lungs? Can someone answer that for me, because I don't really get it. I've never smoked before so maybe I just don't know anything, but that really does not sound appealing.
What is the cool-factor about smoking anyways? It's ridiculously unhealthy in so many ways, and plus it's addicting. Do people think it makes them seem older? Grown up? Mature? Maybe some people see it that way, but when I see young people smoking I see them throwing their lives away. "I'm a social smoker," yeah yeah yeah yeah tell me that again in 15 years when you live off cigarettes and have lung cancer!
What's so hard about saying "no thanks"?
Peace SUCKA FREEEEEEEE SundaaaaeeeeeeeeeeE!!!!!
p.s. PEER PRESSURE SUCKS. lame squad. Just say no, kids!
What is the cool-factor about smoking anyways? It's ridiculously unhealthy in so many ways, and plus it's addicting. Do people think it makes them seem older? Grown up? Mature? Maybe some people see it that way, but when I see young people smoking I see them throwing their lives away. "I'm a social smoker," yeah yeah yeah yeah tell me that again in 15 years when you live off cigarettes and have lung cancer!
What's so hard about saying "no thanks"?
Peace SUCKA FREEEEEEEE SundaaaaeeeeeeeeeeE!!!!!
p.s. PEER PRESSURE SUCKS. lame squad. Just say no, kids!
nothing
Such a simple concept. I love doing nothing. Nothing parties are my current favorite thing to do. If you would like to know, nothing parties consist of sitting, laying, or even running around and just breathing, laughing, and making good conversation. Nothing to it really.
I genuinely admire people that can sit around for long periods of time and have intelligent conversation. I feel like not everyone is capable of doing this. I've met plenty of people that would call nothing parties boring or lame or anything other than amazing. To be able to sit and just talk all day, a person has to be content with himself and confident in who he is, or he will be left confused. They must have an open mind or else they will be left fuming. Jen and I are the queens of nothing parties. We have them every day at least once a day. It feels so good to talk about deeper thoughts instead of talking trash or other shallow things. It would be nice to find some other nothing-fans who would like to join us though. When you pretty much agree with every word that comes out of someone's mouth, there aren't many mind-expanding or challenging moments.
I just watched Mean Girls again tonight. I like that movie but it bothers me. I guess the point of it isn't to be realistic, but seriously? The line, "There's a 30% chance that it's raining right now," is the last straw.
peace SUCkaaa frEEE SundaaaaeeeeeeeeEEEEeeee
I genuinely admire people that can sit around for long periods of time and have intelligent conversation. I feel like not everyone is capable of doing this. I've met plenty of people that would call nothing parties boring or lame or anything other than amazing. To be able to sit and just talk all day, a person has to be content with himself and confident in who he is, or he will be left confused. They must have an open mind or else they will be left fuming. Jen and I are the queens of nothing parties. We have them every day at least once a day. It feels so good to talk about deeper thoughts instead of talking trash or other shallow things. It would be nice to find some other nothing-fans who would like to join us though. When you pretty much agree with every word that comes out of someone's mouth, there aren't many mind-expanding or challenging moments.
I just watched Mean Girls again tonight. I like that movie but it bothers me. I guess the point of it isn't to be realistic, but seriously? The line, "There's a 30% chance that it's raining right now," is the last straw.
peace SUCkaaa frEEE SundaaaaeeeeeeeeEEEEeeee
Monday, July 7, 2008
laziness & impatience
Those two components fuel our economy.
I work in a restaurant and I see both of these words acted out every day. One reason why people go out to eat is because they don't want to cook for themselves; They're having a moment of laziness. Don't get me wrong, I believe that being laziness can be a perfectly fine quality. At times I'm one of the laziest people you'll ever meet, but I'm also very patient. I believe that our society is a combination of both laziness and impatience, which don't balance out very well. If you want to be lazy and take the easy road out of things, I feel like you have to be able to have patience in the situation or else harsh emotions come into play.
that is all.
I work in a restaurant and I see both of these words acted out every day. One reason why people go out to eat is because they don't want to cook for themselves; They're having a moment of laziness. Don't get me wrong, I believe that being laziness can be a perfectly fine quality. At times I'm one of the laziest people you'll ever meet, but I'm also very patient. I believe that our society is a combination of both laziness and impatience, which don't balance out very well. If you want to be lazy and take the easy road out of things, I feel like you have to be able to have patience in the situation or else harsh emotions come into play.
that is all.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
really
I'm a huge fan of change, especially the change of physical things that don't even matter. I love when people are confident enough in themselves that when they have an idea in their head they act it out and follow through with it, no matter what people around them say. I love when someone is confident enough in their own thoughts and views that when someone tries to peer pressure them into something, they are just as confident saying "no thanks" the millionth time as much as they were the first time. I admire people who are confident saying no or telling someone the truth even when it means they might lose a friend because honestly, if you feel the need to lie to someone to keep their friendship, that is not a friend worth having.
I like following through with the ideas in my head. Sometimes I like following through with these ideas just to see who sticks around. For example, I cut my hair short and a lot of people acted differently toward me and a few people stopped talking to me. People who I saw as close friends just stopped interacting with me, and that is a huge reality check on how people will not always be there or be the person you think they are no matter how much you want them to be. I have the best friend anyone could ever ask for, an amazing family, and God loving me with all his heart. A few kids in high school who stop talking to me are not going to negatively affect me.
There are many people who did stick around though and more people I meet every day. The real friends don't care about the physical stuff, they only care about the soul.
Fitting into the mold of society is comfortable for a lot of people, but it gives me the most uncomfortable feeling I've ever felt. I would rather be myself and have only one good friend than be like everyone else and have a lot of fake friendships. I'm not saying I'm completely original or anything, but I just do what I like. Love me or hate me and all that blah blah blah.
Peeeeace SUCKA free Sunday
I like following through with the ideas in my head. Sometimes I like following through with these ideas just to see who sticks around. For example, I cut my hair short and a lot of people acted differently toward me and a few people stopped talking to me. People who I saw as close friends just stopped interacting with me, and that is a huge reality check on how people will not always be there or be the person you think they are no matter how much you want them to be. I have the best friend anyone could ever ask for, an amazing family, and God loving me with all his heart. A few kids in high school who stop talking to me are not going to negatively affect me.
There are many people who did stick around though and more people I meet every day. The real friends don't care about the physical stuff, they only care about the soul.
Fitting into the mold of society is comfortable for a lot of people, but it gives me the most uncomfortable feeling I've ever felt. I would rather be myself and have only one good friend than be like everyone else and have a lot of fake friendships. I'm not saying I'm completely original or anything, but I just do what I like. Love me or hate me and all that blah blah blah.
Peeeeace SUCKA free Sunday
Saturday, July 5, 2008
La Breeze
I do not like Los Angeles very much.
I do not like how silly things cost money.
I do not like the actions some people take while intoxicated.
So I guess my "I like everything" statement has been proven incorrect and I am a hypocrite.
However, I do like Aushua and the men in the band. They all rule and make good music. The men of Aushua and my amazing conversations with Jen are the only reason I like being awake sometimes.. such as tonight. I freakin love Jennifer and the way that we always end up having the best conversations ever when we're together. Nothing is fake between us and I dig that. I want to know more people who would do nothing with me all day and say it was the best day ever.
I do not like how silly things cost money.
I do not like the actions some people take while intoxicated.
So I guess my "I like everything" statement has been proven incorrect and I am a hypocrite.
However, I do like Aushua and the men in the band. They all rule and make good music. The men of Aushua and my amazing conversations with Jen are the only reason I like being awake sometimes.. such as tonight. I freakin love Jennifer and the way that we always end up having the best conversations ever when we're together. Nothing is fake between us and I dig that. I want to know more people who would do nothing with me all day and say it was the best day ever.
lies
I hate lying. I'm a horrible liar. baahhhhhhh! Lies!
I'm excited to go to work crew for a month this summer. I feel like a month away from this world and all it's craziness will give me good direction and focus. A month of pure, godly goodness will put my head back on straight.
I want to do a ywam trip after high school.
PEACE sucka freee sundaaaae
I'm excited to go to work crew for a month this summer. I feel like a month away from this world and all it's craziness will give me good direction and focus. A month of pure, godly goodness will put my head back on straight.
I want to do a ywam trip after high school.
PEACE sucka freee sundaaaae
2% doubt
Sometimes, when my mind's on a really cool tangent, I can't sleep because my thoughts are running like crazy through my head.
My mind got stuck on this tangent last night at this sweeeeeet bible study when faith and doubt were briefly discussed. Doubt is normally not seen as a good thing but I feel it's just human nature that we can't control. I believe doubt is normal, healthy and can be seen as responsible.
Doubt is a part of faith. Faith isn't waking up every morning to God's face coming out of the clouds saying "Good morning, sons and daughters! Believe in me!" Faith is waking up every morning, seeing God's invisible hand on the world and your choice to trust in him despite the doubts that are there.
I was looking at these papers I have on my wall and there's this one from I think 3 years ago when I went to camp.
it says:
GODISNOWHERE
God is nowhere.
God is now here.
Paradox: a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true.
God pretty much goes against the tiny human brain's common sense, but he's God and he can do that. Sure, there are going to be doubts because a lot about God and why he does things isn't clear at times, but let these doubts strengthen you and heal your faith.
my two cents. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong, or to agree with me, or to tell me this makes no sense and I'm insane in the brain. I like talking about things like this with people.
Now maybe I'll sleep.
If you took the time to read this, here's a little shout out for you
PEACE SUCKA freeee sundaeeeeeEEEEE
My mind got stuck on this tangent last night at this sweeeeeet bible study when faith and doubt were briefly discussed. Doubt is normally not seen as a good thing but I feel it's just human nature that we can't control. I believe doubt is normal, healthy and can be seen as responsible.
Doubt is a part of faith. Faith isn't waking up every morning to God's face coming out of the clouds saying "Good morning, sons and daughters! Believe in me!" Faith is waking up every morning, seeing God's invisible hand on the world and your choice to trust in him despite the doubts that are there.
I was looking at these papers I have on my wall and there's this one from I think 3 years ago when I went to camp.
it says:
GODISNOWHERE
God is nowhere.
God is now here.
Paradox: a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true.
God pretty much goes against the tiny human brain's common sense, but he's God and he can do that. Sure, there are going to be doubts because a lot about God and why he does things isn't clear at times, but let these doubts strengthen you and heal your faith.
my two cents. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong, or to agree with me, or to tell me this makes no sense and I'm insane in the brain. I like talking about things like this with people.
Now maybe I'll sleep.
If you took the time to read this, here's a little shout out for you
PEACE SUCKA freeee sundaeeeeeEEEEE
Freedom Fest
So I decided I needed a little place for all my random thoughts to go and this is it. I'm excited to look back on old posts when they're old and think of when they were fresh and new.
I am almost 18 but I don't want to be. I am almost out of high school but I don't want to be. I feel like I'll be ready for those things when they are closer.
Recently Jen and I have been talking about the future and moving in together and I'm getting excited about that even though it will be in a year or more. Just the idea of it is so refreshing. I like change. I like people.
Today Jen and I went to eVocal and mingled and met some pretty awesome people. I decided I like baking for others. I will bake you cookies!
PEACE SUCKA freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sundaaeEEEEeEeeeee
I am almost 18 but I don't want to be. I am almost out of high school but I don't want to be. I feel like I'll be ready for those things when they are closer.
Recently Jen and I have been talking about the future and moving in together and I'm getting excited about that even though it will be in a year or more. Just the idea of it is so refreshing. I like change. I like people.
Today Jen and I went to eVocal and mingled and met some pretty awesome people. I decided I like baking for others. I will bake you cookies!
PEACE SUCKA freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sundaaeEEEEeEeeeee
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