Tuesday, December 23, 2008

In the moment

Every moment seems so important to us when it is happening. Emotions cause action, and action is powered by the build up of past moments and the things happening at that moment in time. Sometimes I wish I could concentrate on not only the moment I am facing now, but every moment that has been and is to be. Moments are so small, so meaningless. Why, at every moment, do we feel that this moment is the most important moment in the world?

"The years have been short but the days were long"

That's a lyric from a shins song I've heard so many times. For some reason, the hundredth time I heard it, I didn't just hear it; I listened, I understood. When you think about this past year, how fast does it seem to have flown by? For me, ridiculously fast. When I think back on the memories I have made and the things I have done, I really remember that the moments I had spent doing things had seemed so long while they were happening. Every day cleaning cabins at Woodleaf the days seemed to have more than 24 hours in them. But then, at the end of the month when we were all crying our goodbyes, we were all stuck wondering where time had gone. It did not feel like we had been there for a month. When I came back home from Woodleaf and stepped into my room, it felt like I had only been gone for a few hours. This feeling made me cry so hard that night because I had so many memories and I had changed so much in that month, but everything at home was exactly the same. I knew that no one here would be able to understand those feelings I was having. I had just experienced the most amazing transformation of my heart and mind, and it seemed like it was all for nothing the second I stepped back into my old life. Every day, a little part of me wishes I was back at Woodleaf.

Time is something I don't care very much about. I'm always late, and I absolutely do not care. I guess that's bad of me to say but let's just be honest here. Time is so worldly and I don't concentrate on things of this world. They don't make me happy.

WELP, see you later. I'm flying to Chicago on Christmas day and I'll be home on January 4th. Everyone be safe and have a great new years eve and day(: Remember why we celebrate Christmas.

PEace Sucka freeee sundae

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